Perfectionism vs. Excellence

I was chatting with some friends last night about my "over-achiever" high school and college years. I would absolutely fall apart if I didn't get an "A" in everything! My parents were proud, my sister was miffed because she was expected to meet the same standard, and I was ... lost. I knew how to "do" school to perfection, but could I "do" life at the same level? Could I live up to my own ideals?
I unwittingly was afflicted with the often paralyzing effects of perfectionism. Monica A. Frank, Ph.D. defines perfectionism as "the individual's belief that he or she must be perfect to be acceptable." This affliction has many causes and many manifestations. Some of the basic characteristics are:

• Focusing on the outcome rather than the process
• Valuing achievement over the person who is achieving
• Setting or accepting unrealistic expectations of ourselves
• Criticizing ourselves mercilessly for perceived failure
• Needing, wanting, looking for external recognition
• Avoiding failure because it will further lower our self-esteem
• Viewing others as potential critics, therefore setting up an adversarial relationship
• Expecting goals to be achieved immediately (and perfectly!)
• Burying ourselves with "shoulds" that can never be met
• Experiencing unhappiness, dissatisfaction or even fear once perfection is reached (no fulfillment in the achievement)

God never intends us to be perfect. God shoots the basic premise of perfectionism down with one word of scripture: 1 Timothy 4:4-5 NLT "Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it, but receive it with thanks. For we know it is made acceptable by the Word of God and prayer." In other words, you are acceptable. Period. You don't have to be perfect, what you do doesn't have to be perfect, your walk with Christ doesn't have to be perfect, and even what you think doesn't have to be perfect. Instead, God wants us to strive for excellence.
It is in the striving for excellence, that we learn how to be healthy in our achievements. Going back to Dr. Frank's research, the definition for excellence is "the desire to attain a goal of excellence, to achieve at a high level, to be the best that one can be but without the demand attached to the goal or desire."
All that God demands of us is that we grow into the person we were designed by God to be. That ultimately, his children (us) are far more important to him (and should be to us), than any product we can produce. After all, he made us in his image! When we accept Christ as Savior, we become Jesus' brothers and sisters, "joint heirs" the bible calls us. But we cannot rest on our laurels, just because we've been saved! He still call us to excellence and the pursuit of holiness in all that we do. "By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence....In view of this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone." 2 Peter 1:3-7 (NLT) None of us will ever be perfect in any of these things, so we might as well just stop trying for perfectionism, and instead use that energy to strive with all our might for moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance, godliness, brotherly affection, and love for everyone. And when we fall short, let us not beat ourselves up, but soak up the grace and forgiveness God offers so freely, while we strive to go a baby step further than the next time we try!